I am backkk and with more love to give than ever! Apart from spending my Valentine's Day doing wholesome activities with my partner, I decided to VLOG my 1st ever "Tea with T" Segment. These segments will be all about girl talk.. because who doesn't love to dig deeper into the hottest topics at hand?
In this Self Love Segment, I am not here to give you the answers to your problems, but instead guide you to yourself to find them. I can only speak from experience of what I have been through and can only hope to spark a sense of inspiration for you to do the same.
XOTHAL is where compassion is always at hand & LOVE is the foundation.
We start of with the big questions..
LOVE VS LUST;
*What is the difference between the two?* *How can we tell the difference?*
Yeah.. deep I know, let's just jump right into it.
When we “fall in love” or think we do, we begin to blindly be led by emotions. Emotions are good, even the unpleasant ones. For example; sadness, anger, jealousy, bitter, resentful.
Emotions are a reminder that we are very much alive & capable of feeling. Now, however, we must let these emotions PASS. All emotions are temporary, even the pleasant ones. For example; happiness, excitement, love, infatuation, lust.
BREAKING NEWS;
“Sometimes who we want is not who we need. Sadly, this was one of those cases indeed.” -Xo, Thal via [Too Much Poetry Book]
The hardest pill to swallow is to recognize how you are partaking in your own self sabotage.
No matter how much we want to blame our partners for being “abusive”/“toxic” it always comes down to our personal will. We are choosing to put up with that behavior and as women, we can’t always victimize ourselves.
Instead we need to take accountability for our actions, and how maybe we have enabled their behavior.
In life, our partners are a mirror to us. We can pretend to be mad that they don’t respect us, but are we respecting ourselves? We can’t believe they abandoned us, but have we abandoned our true selves? They are not loving us the way we want, but are WE loving ourselves the way we want? I know sis, it hurts me too. We have all been there, and that's why we must uplift one another to be released from the hands of toxicity and lack of self love mindset.
I am a huge hopeless romantic, it is no secret. I mean I do after all have a huge tattoo on my back that says "Romantics Are The New Rebels." But in the past, my love has quickly turned into possessive behavior which then turns into codependency.
-CODEPENDENCY plays a huge roll in most downfall of relationships. We start putting our needs in the back end for our partner’s or we stop doing things we love because they don’t approve of it. Reality is, we are responsible for our happiness and no one (not even the perfect boyfriend) can make us happy if we are unhappy with ourselves.
We get so caught up in "fixing the other person" that we forget about ourselves and our needs/wants. It is not our job to heal anyone but ourselves ladies, here is something to remember; WE CAN ONLY HEAL OTHERS THROUGH HEALING OURSELVES.
Notice how I am saying ***WE***, I have too made these mistakes and I have to had to face the reality, I was lacking self love, and the world could see right through me.
We can always get back up and start again. Life is a constant journey of highs and lows.
Watch Full VLOG:
I want to close this blog leaving you guys with a sense of strength and inspiration; so please remember that no matter what situation you are in…
CHANGE IS ALWAYS AT HAND.
Is it going to be hard? No, it’s going to be hard as f*ck. It is all part of the process, so be patient with yourself and do the best you can every day. That’s all you can really do anyway.
